Cant break free from the things that you do

Business & Mindset Coach dedicated to helping entrepreneurs become industry leaders, high achievers and big-time earners.

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Are you tired of putting all your energy into trying to achieve bigger and better results, but all you get is the same thing in return? Can you feel the frustration burning in your chest the more you think about the endless cycle you’re trying to get out of? Do you wish you could stop comparing yourself to your peers, who seem to be doing much better in life? I know these feelings because I’ve been in your place before. 

I’ve been a successful entrepreneur for decades, having achieved things many people around me couldn’t. In times of economic distress, my husband and I managed to pivot our way into financial freedom. In my own personal experience as an entrepreneur, as well as working with other high achievers, I have noticed one thing: Many successful people hit a peak, and once they do, they don’t know how to get past it.

Years into the success I achieved, I realized that I wasn’t doing anything new. Things had become a monotonous cycle, and nothing I did could change it. This led to years of aggressively trying to escape the cycle — but nothing changed. I only became more frustrated, anxious and dissatisfied with my life. Eventually, my inner state started affecting my outward relationships and my own body. It took being in a hospital bed, after a traumatic miscarriage, for me to finally understand what was going on within.

All along, I was trying to remedy the problem by tackling the external factor. But the truth is the problem was in me. My internal beliefs were holding me back from gaining clarity and developing an action plan.

I wanted to advance and reach a bigger stage of my life. I wanted to be happier and more successful than I already was, but the state of my mindset was holding me back. This realization allowed me to analyze myself from within and pinpoint the exact feelings that were holding me back.

My biggest mental block was fear and doubt. Starting a business in the middle of a recession was enough to push me to succeed, but it also left me feeling afraid. I couldn’t stop thinking, “What if something goes wrong and we lose everything?” As a result, I started working from a place of despair. My decisions were fear-driven, and this stopped me from embracing innovation. 

When I couldn’t get myself out of the harrowing cycle, my sense of doubt intensified. I felt like a fraud, and no matter what my previous track record told me, I still felt like I didn’t have what it took. Instead of taking the time to break down this perception, I chose to work against it in a bid to prove myself wrong. This blinded me from seeing the ways in which I could have pursued alternative options to advance my goals. But there are steps to take to make things work out differently.

1. Lock in on what you actually want.

Here’s the truth: You won’t leave your current state until you actually map out what “better” looks like for you. Creating a picture of the vision of your accomplished life is the first step to realizing that where you are right now is far from it. You can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t know where you’re going in the first place.

2. Turn that plan into rapid action.

Now that you know what you want and why you want it, it’s time to get practical. You’re not going to take your business, finances, health, family life, etc. to the next level without an actual plan — and it has to happen immediately. The best way to fight fear and doubt is to act. 

Acting means setting up meetings, upgrading your services, hiring a personal trainer, speaking to a consultant, learning a new skill, joining a group of like-minded action-takers — it can be anything, but action means doing something that will take you a step closer to your vision every day.

3. Flip fear and turn it into fuel.

The fear isn’t going to leave you. That’s a fact. There are some mornings where you’ll wake up, and that fear will overwhelm you. Instead of giving in, use that anxious energy to catapult you into your day. Do it afraid. Waiting for fear to go away is like waiting for the perfect moment — and that does not exist. The best way to flip your fears is to envision your future self, the self you’re working toward. Think of what you stand to lose if you give in to fear. Is that what you want?

4. Reframe your problems, and practice gratitude.

Problems are always going to pop up, but you cannot let them stop you from breaking your cycle. The best way to overcome these obstacles is to reframe your perspective and see them as challenges waiting to be overcome. When you get past them, take time to celebrate what you did because this gives you the drive to keep going.

The key to dealing with, and ultimately overcoming, limiting beliefs is to divorce the overwhelming weight that comes with them. It took a near-death situation for me to realize how far I’d gone in my denial. You don’t need to reach that point.

When I finally took the time to look within and became intentional about becoming unstuck, I was able to make progress and enjoy my life. It takes work and bravery to confront the things inside of you that hold you back, but it’s a road worth traveling. So I implore you to take stock of your inner well-being and identify what's holding you back. It will catapult you in ways you could never imagine. Trust me: You need to try it.

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