What happens if a guy doesnt masturbate

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A guy I've been seeing for the past 2 months told me the other day that he doesn't masturbate.. I can't help but find this very strange. Is this very unusual? I feel like masturbation is a very healthy part of a person's sex life. We have had issues in the bedroom and I can't help but think it's all connected.. I don't think he has much of a sex drive, though he claims that he does.

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What are the issues? ED? No satisfaction? Incompatible? Focus on what goes on between you two, not his personal habits.

We have had issues in the bedroom and I can't help but think it's all connected.. I don't think he has much of a sex drive, though he claims that he does.

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We must have dated the same guy.

His upbringing and shame had a lot to do with it.

Ultimately ED issues.

I was never quite certain if it was emotional or physical or both.

Never the less, I would say it's all related.

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What are the issues? ED? No satisfaction? Incompatible? Focus on what goes on between you two, not his personal habits.

Yeah, ED. I was worried that he just wasn't attracted to me but he claims that's not the case, and that he's had these issues before but only in the past 6 months. He then went on to tell me about the masturbating thing.

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Yeah, ED. I was worried that he just wasn't attracted to me but he claims that's not the case, and that he's had these issues before but only in the past 6 months. He then went on to tell me about the masturbating thing.

How old is he?

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We must have dated the same guy.

His upbringing and shame had a lot to do with it.

Ultimately ED issues.

I was never quite certain if it was emotional or physical or both.

Never the less, I would say it's all related.

Haha we must! I don't know much about my guy's upbringing but I definitely think there's a lot more to what's going on than he's saying, which is fair enough, he doesn't have to share that information with me if he doesn't feel comfortable. I guess I'm just concerned about the future of us with all of this going on, and it's a difficult thing to address because it's so personal for him and I don't want to hurt his feelings

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He's trying to tell you it's not due to that, not make a moral statement. Is he recently out of a relationship? Or have depression/anxiety etc?

How old is he? How's his health? Is he in shape? Does he drink or use drugs? Has he seen a doctor or tried viagra?

Yeah, ED. I was worried that he just wasn't attracted to me but he claims that's not the case, and that he's had these issues before but only in the past 6 months.

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How old is he?

He's 27.. not sure if it's unusual to experience ED at that age?

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Haha we must! I don't know much about my guy's upbringing but I definitely think there's a lot more to what's going on than he's saying, which is fair enough, he doesn't have to share that information with me if he doesn't feel comfortable. I guess I'm just concerned about the future of us with all of this going on, and it's a difficult thing to address because it's so personal for him and I don't want to hurt his feelings

. .yah . .you should be concerned.

Because if you continue to see him, his problem becomes yours and if you two can't talk about it then it's not likely to get any better.

You'll be left in the dark and not knowing what to do.

Showing concern and interest shouldn't `hurt his feelings' bytheway

It's not like he's not aware. How about addressing the elephant in the room?

Has he seen a doctor regarding this?

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He's trying to tell you it's not due to that, not make a moral statement. Is he recently out of a relationship? Or have depression/anxiety etc?

How old is he? How's his health? Is he in shape? Does he drink or use drugs? Has he seen a doctor or tried viagra?

He was in a relationship for a good few years but it ended over a year ago. Not sure if he suffers with his mental health, if he has he hasnt shared it with me. He's 27, in good shape, he drinks but not excessively and I dont think he does drugs..

Funny you should mention viagra.. he actually had a viagra tablet in his room that he showed me a few weeks ago and was laughing saying his friend had left it there (this was before we had ever had sex) Had totally forgot about that until now.. it's possible it was his but then I don't know why he wouldn't have used it when we were trying if it actually was his

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Relationship 101 : Don't take your clothes off with someone you can't have an intimate conversation with.

If you don't know much about him personally and you are both afraid to talk about sensitive things,

then dial this back and put your clothes back on

Not sure if he suffers with his mental health, if he has he hasnt shared it with me.

^^ this would be good to know.

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. .yah . .you should be concerned.

Because if you continue to see him, his problem becomes yours and if you two can't talk about it then it's not likely to get any better.

You'll be left in the dark and not knowing what to do.

Showing concern and interest shouldn't `hurt his feelings' bytheway

It's not like he's not aware. How about addressing the elephant in the room?

Has he seen a doctor regarding this?

Yeah I think you're right.. I'm going to have to bring it up with him. Not sure if he's ever seen a doctor about it but I have a feeling he hasn't

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Relationship 101 : Don't take your clothes off with someone you can't have an intimate conversation with.

If you don't know much about him personally and you are both afraid to talk about sensitive things,

then dial this back and put your clothes back on

Not sure if he suffers with his mental health, if he has he hasnt shared it with me.

^^ this would be good to know.

Yeah I agree. We have had a lot of very intimate conversations, I'm just nervous about this stuff because I've never really had bedroom issues like this before and I just want to make sure I'm approaching it correctly.

I'll try dig a little bit deeper in terms of his mental health. He's quite an emotional guy.. and pretty insecure so there's a possibility that he has issues with anxiety etc

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I won't pretend it's easy and the both of you being young probably doesn't help.

I don't suppose you would have guessed you would be dealing with this in your 20's

But the good news is that talking openly about these type of things is what creates a stronger, emotionally

intimate connection.

If all goes well. . a strong physical relationship may benefit from it.

Get talking!

Let him know you care and you want to talk about it in the open and not tippytoe around it.

Ask him if there is anything you can do differently the change the outcome?

That may be a good start.

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I won't pretend it's easy and the both of you being young probably doesn't help.

I don't suppose you would have guessed you would be dealing with this in your 20's

But the good news is that talking openly about these type of things is what creates a stronger, emotionally

intimate connection.

If all goes well. . a strong physical relationship may benefit from it.

Get talking!

Let him know you care and you want to talk about it in the open and not tippytoe around it.

Ask him if there is anything you can do differently the change the outcome?

That may be a good start.

I'll try all of the above! Thanks so much for the advice

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Right. It's always "the friends" viagra or condom lying around.

Unfortunately at 27 and no physical problems, something is up like he's still pining or has performance anxiety.

he actually had a viagra tablet in his room that he showed me a few weeks ago and was laughing saying his friend had left it there (this was before we had ever had sex) Had totally forgot about that until now.. it's possible it was his but then I don't know why he wouldn't have used it when we were trying if it actually was his

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I've only known 1 man who I actually belived that he didn't masturbate. He was however extremely religious. In your 20s I'd also say it's most likely psychological with his ED.

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A guy I've been seeing for the past 2 months told me the other day that he doesn't masturbate.. I can't help but find this very strange. Is this very unusual? I feel like masturbation is a very healthy part of a person's sex life. We have had issues in the bedroom and I can't help but think it's all connected.. I don't think he has much of a sex drive, though he claims that he does.

I think the opposite. I don't by choice, but yeah, the lower part of me would love to. I don't see anything good or healthy about it. I've never had ED or any psychological problems. I am religious. My wife of 25 years says I'm an incredible lover (sorry to brag) but I believe this is a direct result of the pent up sexual energy that I carry around as a result of not masturbating. Plus, porn usually accompanies it and I am convinced that porn is harmful to men and marriage. If there is a God, there also may be a dark place in hell for people who waste the gift of sex and procreation and use it only for entertainment.... let's not forget this possibility but sorry to get preachy. Just sharing a bit of my reasoning! Also, I love my wife so glad to devote my sexuality entirely to her- corny but true.

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Genuinely surprised with the responses in this thread. No masturbation = Sexual / mental / physical problems, no shadow of a doubt it seems. Aside from the fact there's entire communities centered around no masturbation which he might be "part of", not masturbating can be a conscious or unconscious decision. He may not even think about doing it, or would much rather experience more intense pleasure with a partner. There's also plenty of people who suggest that not masturbating can provide physical or mental health benefits, though I'm not sure how far these go. Personally, I'm 24 and don't masturbate. Nothing wrong with me either, and it's a conscious decision. To each their own, I say.

Of course, the sexual problems you experience together is an issue, and could derive from mental or physical health issues. I wonder if he's someone who takes awhile to adjust to a new partner. I'd give it more time and patience, honestly.

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