Questions to ask your long term partner

In terms of a romantic partner, it’s wonderful to find someone with whom you can share a comfortable silence. Someone who can sit by your side while you think, or not think. Someone you can just be present with. But, of course, you don’t want comfortable silence all the time. For those moments when you want to get closer through conversation, we’ve gathered a list of 60 illuminating questions to ask a partner in order to get to know them a little better.

Relationship Questions

1. Do you want children?

2. Do you want to get married?

3. What do you think the most important element is in maintaining a relationship?

4. What is the No. 1 thing you look for in a partner?

5. What is your favorite thing to do on a date?

6. What is the most romantic place you’ve ever visited?

7. If you want children, how many children do you want?

8. Have you ever been cheated on?

9. What is the best gift you’ve ever given a partner?

10. What is your favorite love song?

11. What is your favorite date night movie?

12. Would you prefer to cook a romantic dinner, or do the romantic dishes?

13. When do you think is the right time to say “I love you”?

14. Do you think fighting in a relationship is healthy, or do you think it should be avoided?

15. What is something important you’ve learned from another couple?

16. What is a mistake you’ve made in a relationship in the past that you don’t want to repeat?

17. What do you think is your best attribute as a boyfriend?

18. Are you friends with your exes?

19. Have you ever had your heart broken?

20. How can you tell you’re really comfortable with someone?

Fun Questions

21. Do you have any hidden talents?

22. If you could meet one celebrity, who would it be?

23. If you could relive one day in your life, what day would you choose?

24. Would you ever go skydiving?

25. Have you ever been afraid of a ghost?

26. What was your best Halloween costume?

27. What was your favorite school lunch as a kid?

28. What is your favorite Simpsons joke?

29. If you could live inside the world of one TV show, which would you choose?

30. If you have a billion dollars, what do you think your life would be like?

31. What is your favorite scent?

32. What is your favorite outfit?

33. If you could change your name to anything, would you change it, and what would you change it to?

34. If you could suddenly be very good at something without having to put any effort into getting good at it, what would it be?

35. What is a book or movie you’ve always lied about having read or seen?

36. What career do you wish you could have?

37. If you could go to the moon, would you?

38. Do you think aliens exist?

39. Do you think you would do better or worse on the SATs if you had to take them now?

40. What is your favorite meal of all time?

41. What cartoon character do you think is the hottest of all time?

42. What is your most controversial movie-related opinion?

43. Do you think dogs go to heaven?

44. What is the hottest you’ve ever looked?

45. Who do you think is the MVP, LeBron or Giannis?

Dangerous Questions

46. If you could change one thing about me what would it be?

47. Who do you think has it harder: men or women?

48. Who is the most beautiful person you can think of?

49. Can you explain to me the process of menstruation and why it occurs?

50. Can you tell me what accounts for the sun appearing to rise and set?

51. Can you name ten authors who are not men?

52. Do you still text with any of your exes?

53. Have you ever cheated on anyone, and do you feel the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true or false?

54. How do you feel about Elizabeth Warren and why?

55. What is the best outfit you’ve ever seen me wear?

56. What is the funniest thing I’ve ever said to you?

57. What is your favorite thing about me?

58. Do you think I’m stronger in my career or stronger in my personal life?

59. Would you rather be a stay-at-home parent or a working parent and why?

60. Does the idea of someone having dinner on the table for you every night at 6 p.m. sound good to you? Why or why not?

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So, you’ve been with your partner a while now, maybe you’re even married, and you’re pretty sure you’ve discussed it all. You probably know more than you ever wanted to know about your partner. When you think you’ve heard it all, you find that there are those random moments where you learn something you’ve never knew about them and it sparks a deeper connection than ever before.

I hope you all can come away with a few new fun ideas for fresh conversations with your partner. There’s a smattering of light and quirky with some others that go deep. Sometimes we just need some ideas for new questions to learn a ton more about the love of your life.

Disclaimer: I highly recommend starting with just one or two. The whole list might be a bit much for date night. ;)

1. What was your favorite present you ever received as a child?

2. What do you think your life would be like if you ended up with the job you wanted as a kid?

3. What do you think happens when we die?

4. What food would you refuse to try or what is the food you most regret trying?

5. If you could spend one year abroad anywhere, where would you spend it?

6. Did you ever get in trouble in middle school? For what?

7. What year of high school did you like most? Why?

8. What is a big lesson you’ve learned from past relationships?

9. What famous person is living your dream life?

10. What would you most like to have invented?

11. What legacy do you hope to leave behind?

12. Who would you want to play you in a movie about your life?

13. What do you remember about your first injury?

14. When did you last cry laughing? What was it at?

15. Tell me about a time where you were embarrassed but you can laugh about it now.

16. What was the biggest argument you ever got in with your siblings?

17. Did your siblings ever have to come to your rescue?

18. Did you like having x siblings?

19. What was it like living in x city?

20. What was your best birthday like?

21. Did you get along with your family in high school?

22. Who is the most competitive when you play games as a family?

23. What were holidays like when you were younger?

24. Did you have any weird nicknames as a kid?

25.What do most love about your parents?

26. If you were a state, what would be your state symbol?

27. If you could be in two places at once, where would you go?

28. What superpower would you have if you were a villain?

29. What strange thing makes you light up?

30. How much would someone have to pay you to give up [favorite beverage] forever?

31. Who’s wedding was your favorite? Why was it special?

32. What do you wish more people asked you about?

33. What is the question that strangers ask you the most?

34. What word would you make up to add to the dictionary?

35. If you could call up one person to apologize for something, who would it be?

36. What is something you’re afraid to do but will do someday? What would make you do it?

37. If you could show up at the door of one famous person and have a thirty minute chat where they let you ask them anything, who would you choose?

38. If you had a shop, what would you sell?

39. What if you could only remember one memory? What would you choose to relive?

40. When did you first learn how to do x?

41. Who inspires you to x?

42. What is your favorite part of making x?

43. What kinds of activities do you wish you had more time for?

44. When’s the last time you felt really challenged? How did it feel?

45. What is something you’re glad you did once, but probably will never do again?

46. What is something on your bucket list we could do this year?

47. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

48. What’s gift have you given that you’re most proud of?

49. Who was your best teacher? What made them great?

50. Do you have any favorite quotes?

51. How did you feel about boy bands?

52. Who was your favorite artist growing up?

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53. What makes you tick while traveling?

54. What has been your favorite age? What age are you most looking forward to?

55. How do you think you might change as you age?

56. How do you picture yourself as an old man/woman?

57. What surprises you most about where you are now?

58. Were you ever bullied? Or did you know anyone who was?

59. Which TV show characters are you most like?

60. Describe your ideal day in 10 words or less.

Let us know in the comments below some of your favorite conversation topics, and let us know if you try any of these questions out. 

What are some deep relationship questions?

What personal questions should I ask my partner?

What do you talk about with your long term partner?

What are some juicy questions to ask your partner?